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It's The Thought That Counts, Right? ...

Sunday, 18 December 2016 05:10

For the last several years the MTN Guys have revealed the Chrismas presents we would give to members of Team MInnesota if we had the money to do so.

It's the thought that counts, right?

So, here's our gift list for the 2016 guys:

1. Matthew Payne - If the Pain Train had his way, he'd eat at Chipotle every day. His fave is a beef burrito with guac and extra cheese. We'd get Matt a gift card worth $6,305 (2 beef burritos--$17--times 365 = $6,305).

2. Sean Cooley - Sean is a doctor and has an awesome girlfriend. Since he doesn't really need anything, we'll get him a fruitcake with extra green things. What are those things?  ...

3. Wade Cruser - We like Wade a lot, but we don't know him very well. We do know that he drives a lot, so we want to get him a custom set of WeatherTech Floor Mats.

4. Josh Blankenheim - Josh is a total outdoorsman who likes to eat the things he finds out there, especially fish. So, we would like to get him a Drumm Fish Scaler, which are currently on sale at Cabela's for $229.99.

5. Kevin O'Connor - Some guys are "Hockey Dads." Other's are "Soccer Dads." Kevin is a "Basketball Dad." His sons, one of them can dunk, we think, probably need extra tube socks and jock straps so doing stinky basketball laundry isn't an everyday deal. We would get Kevin a gross of socks and jocks for Lance and Blake.

6. Brooks Grossinger - Like Josh, Brooks is an outdoor guy, so we would like to get him one of those cool Russian hats, made from the pelts of real Russian varmints.

7. Kris Spoth - On Kris' FB page, he and Gaby are holding tropical drinks with--we're not making this up--back scratchers coming out of them. Apparently little umbrellas are a thing of the past. Knowing that Kris loves these kinds of coctails, we want to get him a barrel of Blackbeard's Premium Rum ($69.50 + $7.50 shipping and handling), because most tropical drinks are made with rum, right?

8. David Holden - David is in his mid-40s, which means that he grew up loving 80s music. We want to make him a CD with fifteen of the greatest hits of that period, including "You Shook Me All Night Long (AC/DC), "Take On Me" (A-Ha), "Sister Christian" (Night Ranger - We love that song!), "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" (Wang Chung) and "Janie Got a Gun" (Aerosmith).  We would have included "When Doves Cry" by Prince, but we assume that he, and everyone else, already has that.

9. Jordan Roby - Jordan loves to travel, and has already been to a lot of cool places. He probably hasn't been to Chad, so we want to send him there, not the desert part, but the wetlands around Lake Chad. There are no direct flights from MSP to N'Djamena, so he'd probably have to connect through Lisbon or Madrid.

10. Andy Wiberg - Andy's got a cool Hawaiian shirt that is white and has a tall, curvy palm tree on it, which means he's probably really into Hawaiian stuff. So, we want to get him a ukelele and three free lessons. (It shouldn't take a smart guy like Andy--we think he's a rocket scientist, but we're not sure--more than three lessons to become proficient, right?)

On Wednesday, we will reveal the gifts that we won't be getting for the women of Team Minnesota.