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Funny Things About Triathlon Swimming...

Thursday, 03 March 2022 00:10

By Alfred Dockery (swimbikestumble.com)

What do you get when you combine fear of water, fear of tight spaces, and performance anxiety? A triathlon swim start.

What do triathletes mean when they refer to being in the washing machine during a race? It’s a slang term for playing rugby while drowning.

What prompted you to take up a hobby where people regularly brag about being able to pee while in motion and occasionally put on rubber suits to swim for more than a mile? My job as a sea lamprey exterminator was too glamorous.

During your last race your googles fogged up so badly that you could not see the buoys so you just aimed for the middle of the pack of swimmers ahead of you. When you told a friend about the experience she replied, “so you were crowd sourcing?” ...

After finally figuring out your swim workout (3 x 400 descend :30, 100 easy :30, 3 x 200 descend 1-3 :20), you Google to see how many of the World War II code breakers were swim coaches. You suspect the answer is all of them.
During a recent open water swim you had a close encounter with a snake which led to a frenzied backstroke sprint across 70 yards of water, a sandy beach, a grassy bank and halfway up a crepe myrtle.

Running out of the water and up the boat ramp you slip on goose poop, collide with an inflatable arch dropping it so low that it clotheslines another athlete who then lost their footing to roll back down the ramp over the poop and into the water. In the confusion you made it to your bike. Unfortunately a friend saw this episode and nicknamed you the slime surfer.  READ MORE