FEATURES
Sometimes Reality Is Overrated...
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Monday, 04 July 2011 03:00
By Bonnie Psychodelic
The air was muggy and hot, just as expected. From up on the podium, my eyes scanned over the energized crowd. Cameras flashed and sounds of cheering rose like helium filled balloons. I took a deep breath, drawing in the scent of the Hawaiian lei that was draped around my neck, sweat dripping off me as I listened to the announcer proclaim that I had broken the Ironman course record for my age group. Not just broke it, flat out destroyed it. Life was good. Until the bumble bee. The little torpedo came flying at me out of nowhere. Smack! Right in the eye. I swerved sharply on my bike, trying not to go down and eventually was able to gingerly touch my stinging face to assess the damage. Only thirty seven more miles to go until I finished the bike course.
My husband couldn't visualize a chocolate chip cookie if it was right in front of him. I don't know how he survives our long training sessions. I asked him what he thought about and he said, "I think about sitting on the couch and watching Sponge Bob." "Seriously?!" I asked. "Yep." That explains the 'I'm ready! I'm ready!' I hear him utter from under his breath as we clip in on our bikes. Mostly, he zones...
Sticking It When The Sun Don't Shine...
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Sunday, 26 June 2011 03:00
By Bonnie Lumen
The glow stick of shame.
Sadly, many of you know what I am talking about and hang your head in unison with me. For those of you who do not know of this unwanted trophy, I will explain. The glow stick of shame is that object that you are handed right around the 12 hour mark of your Ironman. Let me paint this diffusing picture for you. So there you are, racing your guts out- you have a bloody nose and a black eye from the swim, your bum is bruised and you feel like you've just been released from the roughest state penitentiary around, and your legs are on fire and about to explode, but you've got another half marathon to go. Another circuit on the old race course. You head up towards the chute and the crowd goes wild- they think you are about to race towards the finish line. Nope. You stare at your feet, quickly lower the brim on your hat, flip your race number...
I got AARP
A Race By Any Other Name.....
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Monday, 20 June 2011 03:00
It was a race that wasn't a race, to be precise.
By Bonnie Moebeck
All around me were packs of teams- Edina Realty with their own bus, bike transport truck, and nearly their own air to breath; Cargill looking mean and green, ready to kick grain in our faces; the Backdrafters collaborating over some sort of new drafting technique; Target clad in giant red and white circled jerseys. And there we were - 100 Monkeys - shivering in the cold, laughing and having a good old time. Up until ...
What Did the Zero Say to the Eight?
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Tuesday, 14 June 2011 02:55
Fat Tire Board-
Attached, please find a word document as my submission to the '50 Ways" essay contest. Thank you for your consideration.
Oh yeah - so a mathematician says to a statistician "Do you already know the latest good Nerd joke?" The Statistician answers "Probably".
(Please read the essay & it'll make perfect sense).
Thank you-
Tom Segar
Team Dork Rocket
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