FEATURES
It's All About the Outfits...
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Tuesday, 11 January 2011 04:05
By Norman Nemeron
What you are about to read is almost a totally true story.
At 12:14 on June 12, 2008, Sally thought about becoming a triathlete. At 12:15 she decided instead to take up golf....
Stuff About Sara...
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Monday, 10 January 2011 04:00
Triathlete Profile - Here's some stuff about Sara Hermanson-Phillips, 33 or 34, who may or may not still live in Andover. She raced in her first triathlon in 2007. She entered three events that season, a very respectable 13th at Minneman was her competitive highlight. Since then she has raced in at least a
Bad 'Stache, Double Shirted, Closed Mouth Chewer..
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Sunday, 09 January 2011 04:00
WARNING! There's a really gross picture of a girl playing the "See Food" game on the next page.
Going Off Course - Katie Weaver does not chew with her mouth open. If she did, her boyfriend Mark Evenson would dump her. Sure, she may dabble with open-mouth mastication when Mark's not around, but we suspect that she doesn't. She knows that just one slip in his presence would end an otherwise beautiful relationship.
Triathlete / former ditch digger / bad 'stache grower Mark Evenson is really a totally cool guy in spite of his inflexible position on open mouth chewing. A man of varied eccentricities, Mark almost always wears two shirts at the same time, has a double-pierced left ear, has a 'thing" for demonically possessed defunct cars, is passionate about pug riding (what is that?), worships the articulate matricidal infant Stewie Griffin and lives in a corn field.
Otherwise he's a pretty normal guy....
No Good Guys...
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Saturday, 08 January 2011 04:00
By Norm De Plume
Movie Review - If you like movies with happy endings or the ones where Good triumphs over Evil, DON'T RENT the 2005 psychological thriller Hard Candy. Know right up front, there are no good guys in this twisted character study.
But, if you love world class acting AND can handle difficult, sometimes totally yucky, subject matter, then by all means rent this movie.
The themes of this film are pedophilia, revenge, rage and torture. Good turbo training fare? Not sure. At the end of this movie, one Evil is vanquished by another Evil. Is it up to the viewer to decide which one was worse? No. If in the end you find yourself siding with either the victimizer-turned-victim or his diabolically ingenius revenge-seeking torturer, then we suggest to get professional help as soon as possible. Seriously....
Gelly Girl Got Shushed...
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Thursday, 06 January 2011 04:00
Going Off Course - MTN's Hawaiian researcher Wiki Pedia sent us this: "Gelachter syndrome (GS) is a neuro-genetic disorder characterized by 
...frequent laughter or smiling, and an unusually happy demeanor.
"GS is a classic example of genomic imprinting in that it is usually caused by deletion or inactivation of genes on the maternally inherited chromosome 47 while the paternal copy, which may be of normal sequence, is imprinted and therefore silenced. ....GS is named after Austrian geneticist Dr. Kichert Gelachter, who first described the syndrome in 1962....One who has GS is sometimes known as a "Gelly" because of the syndrome's name; the patient is distinguishable from non-sufferers by their remarkably youthful, happy appearance."
It would be wrong for us, as total non-doctors, to diagnose someone. BUT, were kinda-sorta convinced that triathlete / chronic smiler / terminally happy Anne Hartman has Gelachter syndrome....
