Race Coverage

Two Hoots & Orange Poop...

Tuesday, 29 June 2010 05:00

Amy Brendmoen is a hoot! Gretchen Sage-Martinson is a hoot, too!

They're two hoots!

For the last five years, Amy and Gretchen have thrown an annual party at beautiful, rustic YMCA Camp St. Croix south of Hudson, Wisconsin. And each time, a triathlon has broken out. Kinda like that great Rodney Dangerfield quip:

"I went to a fight last night and a hockey game broke out."

(Rich Harmer Photo Below: Cathy Lee & a guy called Uncle Phil are the 2010 Queen & King of the Hill!)

The party/triathlon known as Croixathlon is totally fun and unique in so many ways. The corridors leading into and out of transitions, for instance, are lined with overturned canoes. The transition is rimmed with crime scene tape (wasn't it?). How cool is that?

The event is started with a pre-race meeting that is so goshdarn funny that one typically misses most of the funny stuff because they're still laughing at the last funny thing they heard, which was probably uttered three funny things ago.

Of course, the authors of the hilarity, and that's what it is, hilarity, are Amy and Gretchen. They pontificated from a terracy-kinda-deal that is the rustic equivalent of the Pope's balcony. We learn that one of Gretchen's unfortunate duties is to spray paint the horse poop (photo above) on the run course orange. Of course, whatever falls out of the horses between the time she finishes her paint job and when the first athletes--in this case, Dan Cohen and local star David Holden--enter the run course, will remain its original steamy, hay-infested, fly-drawing, fetid color.

By the time Ame and Gretch conclude their totally cool ranting, the participant/party-goers (many of whom were wearing the distinctive blue "Wild River" tri club uniforms--you WANT to party with these folks!), the race entrants are so pleasantly distracted that they no longer fear what lies ahead.

What lies ahead?

The infamously diabolical, barbarous, pernicious, unrelenting, inhumane, depraved (can you think of anything to add here?) 350 meter climb from the St. Croix to the upper campgrounds, that's what! This thing is sooooooo steep that walking it is an anaerobic experience. (See "Hill Lady" Photo by Rich Harmer)

There's something wrong with you if you are NOT seeing spots by the time you crest that sucker.

As for the race, itself, defending men's champ Dan Cohen and Cathy Lee led the way, each lowering course records on that clear, warm and extremely sultry--have you ever seen the movie "Body Heat" with William Hurt and Kathleen Turner? No? Rent it!--Saturday morning. It was the 10th career for both Dan, who has a 26-inch waist and doesn't suck it in, and Cathy, who has a great waistline, too.

David Holden, 41, finished 2nd in the men's race and set a masters record in the process. He placed 2nd here in 2009, too. Todd Firebaugh, 48, took 3rd and also set a divisional record.

Jenny Wilcox, winner of three races thus far in 2010, placed 2nd for the women. Two-time Croixathlon champ Lindsay Marshall finished third. As you may have surmised, this year's field--approximately 270-participants--was the event's strongest to date.

We strongly recommend this event to all who have not attended in the past. (Those who have invariably return.) Amy and Gretchen will be genuinely glad you did.

And so will you!

Croixathlon V RESULTS