Race Coverage

Road Trippin' Womanfriend...

Saturday, 19 April 2014 06:10

Redneck Crazy, exploits from a marathon in Arkansas

By Angie Hop

“I’m gonna lean my headlights into your bedroom window, and throw empty beer cans at both of your shadows, I didn’t come here to start a fight, but I’m up for anything tonight, you’ve gone and broke the wrong heart baby, and drove me redneck crazy” – Tyler Farr (country and western singer)

In early March I partook in a marathon which was a vacation arrived by participating in a road trip with a destination of Arkansas. Yes, I said Arkansas.   The definitions as labeled by the Urban Dictionary are listed below:  ....

Marathon
An act, such as a running race or tv watching, engaged in for a very long time, i.e. at least several hours.
He's been in his room watching the Andy Griffith Show marathon; he ain't comin' out.
Little Rock
The capital of Arkansas. Known to Arkansas natives as "The Rock," It is famous for being a political town.

However, comedian Dave Attell once said:

"Even though Little Rock might have a rep as a political town, trust me it's a drinking town too."

Most people in Arkansas must travel to Little Rock or its nearby suburbs to do anything worthwhile in Arkansas, so the population of Little Rock is much lower than the actual number of people there.

We're driving three hours to Little Rock to see Bill Clinton's library open.

Vacation
- Off work
- Not to be disturbed by anyone from work
- Not bothered with work
- To be left alone
Don't call me on vacation, you shiznid!

Road Trip
When a bunch of kids get in a car (most likely a VW Bus, most likely with tons of drugs, and drive to an exotic destination (like Vegas or New Jersey).

It happened more in the 70s.

Dude, let's go to Vegas! Hell yeah! Road Trip!!

When a person says to their 'sig' other (I hate the words girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband and relationship), “I’d love to go on a vacation with you”.  That person would’ve never guessed they’d be running a marathon in Arkansas and driving to it….but who would pick me as their new womanfriend?   

So.  To keep me honest with my, oh so challenged, training program, I thought it would be exceptional to sign up for a late winter marathon.   Except a couple things went sideways with this plan.  Throughout the training months it was either -10 below and windy, snowing or a mix of every crappy winter scenario you can imagine.  Of course the work could’ve been done indoors, but let’s face it,  I’m a 43 year old, working, hockey Mom of three, indoor treadmill running is simply……gross and totally boring.  
Shonn (Sean) and I left on a Friday morning, the first half hour of the trip was in a furious blizzard of sorts.  By the time we got near the Iowa border things were starting to look a bit better. We took a pit-stop to check out some of the covered bridges of Madison county in Iowa (shame on you if you haven’t read “The Bridges of Madison County” tragic love story) and it was 50 degrees. We stopped for lunch at a local Tex-Mex cantina of sorts a bit later in the afternoon and it felt absolutely warm. By the time we reached the historic Days Inn on Route 66 in Springfield, MO it was still 55 degrees, we rolled in at 8 pm.  We visited a great brewery in Springfield (Springfield Brewing Company) with a great IPA called Lobster Claw brewed on site plus the added bonus of sitting by a fine gentlemen at the bar who said the word “asshole” approximately 28 times in 45 minutes,  we counted.  The bartender added that everyone from Kansas City was an Asshole...he must know something we don't.

The next day after wrestling with some pretty serious gals for the waffle maker in the hotel, we set off for Little Rock, Arkansas.   Continuing on through rural Arkansas through some pretty great county just beyond the Ozarks, we counted 53 churches in 86 miles.  Arrival in Little Rock was very uneventful, the tallest buildings that make up the skyline are actually hotels.  We quickly found the masses, parked the CRV and headed to the convention center to grab our goodies at the expo.  We then found our way to our humble hotel and got checked in, unpacked our stuff and went for a short run.  The run was a whole new category for 'odd'...but that's different story with too many details, so I'll digress.  Back from the run, and cleaned up to get ready for dinner. We stumbled upon a fantastic fish restaurant queue just off Bill Clinton Drive, which was also near the start line of the race.  It was called The Flying Fish.  Great catfish and fresh diet Coke, dreamy.  Sean wasn’t satisfied however and insisted on a trip to the Waffle House as well for a pre bed snack.  Lucky for us their was a Waffle House next to the hotel, so in we went. Keep in mind, it was National Pancake Day.   After about 20 minutes of waiting (4 patrons in the whole restaurant), the sweet counter host said this, “hey, were all you all here earlier?”  Shocking answer was, “NO”.  She proceeded by saying “ oh, well there were two people that looked just like you all exercising earlier”.  Exercising?  OHHHH we said, “yes, that was us, we were running, we have a marathon tomorrow”.  She said, “ahhh, you were all practisin' for your marathon”.  Sean laughed out loud.   We proceeded to eat waffles and hash browns, not gluten free, and it took another 30 minutes to get the tab.  

Woke up late for the marathon, but drove to the race start, parked and still were 45 minutes prior to start, things worked out, for once.   It was 55 degrees and cloudy,no wind.  The forecast called for a temp drop of 20 degrees, wind and rain but not until the afternoon.  The front came early and the temp dropped 20 degrees, started to rain and 15 mph winds by 10 am, just after the ½ marathon mark, I was dressed in a tank and capris and it started to get cold.   By the 20 mile mark my hands were frozen, I was very uncomfortable and slowed.  After stopping at the 21 mile aid station and being unable to grab and drink water a volunteer grabbed me and pulled me into a tent by a fire.  I was shaking.  They gave me a sweet cotton xl volunteer shirt and said, “they just called the race due to inclement weather”.  You’ll be picked up by buses to the finish.  Cold, defeated, deflated, relieved, confused I set back out, passed miles 22, 23 and 24 and no one knew much until 24.5 when the police were driving stating “the race is cancelled, continue at your own risk, or go to the Walmart for bussing back to start”.  The Walmart?  The Walmart?   Many continued on, but I didn’t know what to expect and didn’t think my kids would appreciate me being dead by hailstorm, so I went to the Walmart.   45 minutes later we boarded buses and headed down the last two miles to the finish.  That surprising twist was when they stopped one mile from the finish and cold, wet, tired marathon runners got to walk/run the last mile of the course anyway and were met with a RUNNING clock.  I WAS HOT!   Mad, embarrassed, but more cold and sick.  I collected my 15 pound race medal, grabbed my bag and was met by a nurse who said, “come with me honey, we are going to the med tent”.    Medical tent AGAIN!  This time for hypothermia.   Sean happened upon me being wheeled into the tent and I said, “I have to go to the medical tent”.   He said, “Well that is a shocker Hopper”.   It only took 45 minutes to warm up, felt like a million bucks.   Sean had a nice little race, considering he was enlisted in my team, team name “no training”. The rest of the day was met with re-telling the tales of the day and hunkered down with some food, some sweets and the Oscars.

We are looking forward to the TC Marathon in Oct. for some PRs. 

Little Rock was shut down for the subsequent two days because of the ice storm, no school and most businesses were closed.    We had a great time anyway, craft beer at the Flying Saucer, more Flying Fish, Contemporary Art Museum.  I love art!  I can go to a gallery, get lost in the pictures, and get completely intertwined in the stories, the artists.  I think Sean has a new respect for art now too.  It was relaxing and good.  After the art museum we had predetermined that we were going to check out on e of the movies that had just been nominated at the Oscars.  After fumbling around on the Blackberry, we found a theatre in West Little Rock that was showing a few of them.  Dallas Buyers Club was the choice, great movie, but the theatre it was palying in was priceless.  A fish tank with no fish, local abstract art everywhere, weird old chairs and couches for your relaxation pleasure, and the most legroom I've ever encountered at any movie.  The marquis were inconsitently lit, and falling off the wall, the carpet was wet and dirty, but the help was friendly, courteous and helpful.  It was perfect.

After not knowing where we were going to stay Tuesday night, we were able to head out Wed morning with the day end goal of Clinton, Missouri and the beginning of Missouri’s Katy Trail.  A 284 mile limestone packed trail from Clinton to St Louis.   We made it in just the nick of time to get a 20 miler in a quick out and back, not much to see, but looking forward to visiting Missouri again to ride it all! 

We visited another great little restaurant in the historic Clinton Missouri “square”, we watched Survivor on the TV and had “psketti”, French fries and diet Coke….oh and a giant piece of chocolate cake. More friendly folks, great conversation and a lot of good memories.

Thursday marked the end of the road trip.  Backto frigid Minnesota, we were beat, battered and bruised. The ride in was pretty quiet and long.   With it all being said, it was without a doubt the most unique experiences I’ve ever had.  The longest road trip, the culture shock, the marathon; but it created tons of 'pee your pants' laughing mostly.  By far, the most fun I’ve had in my 43 years! 

Looking forward to seeing everyone out racing this summer!